No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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