Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
