I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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