just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
