Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He passed out mid-signature
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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