i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can you repeat that, but with context?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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