she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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