I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
