somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize