All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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