I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
