at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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