you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
