even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
