Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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