He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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