shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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