Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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