dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
