So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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