My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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