pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize