I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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