you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize