He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
