I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
