i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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