At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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