no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
