kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
