What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I enjoy the company of your penis
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize