if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
