he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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