Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
