As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Randomize
