Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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