Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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