Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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