I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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