What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
