you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
