They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
