What did we do last night that was yellow?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
