I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
