Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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