Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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