toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
