my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
