This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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