Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I didn't notice because vodka
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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