There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
ugly people sure do ruin things
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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