OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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