hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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