isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize