i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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