Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
