At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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