angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
