she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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