You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The air taste purple.
Randomize
