Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
