Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
