yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
